Over the past couple of years I’ve learned two lessons that have dramatically changed my way of thinking and increased my personal confidence.
Lesson 1:
Get out of your comfort zone.
I first
came across the phrase “comfort zone = dead zone” on a stranger’s t-shirt whilst
walking down the street. The t-shirt was black, the writing was white, bold and
in your face. I felt affronted. “What’s wrong with my comfort zone?” I thought.
“It’s comfortable!”
But
that image kept nagging me and eventually I realised that this stranger’s
t-shirt was right. Sure it’s comfortable in the comfort zone, but whilst
passing time in your comfort zone you are not discovering new things, not overcoming
new challenges, not learning new skills, and most importantly, not realising
your potential!
So
if we want ourselves, and the young people we work with at ReachOut, to achieve
our potential, then lesson number one has to be: get out of your comfort zone,
as often as possible.
Easier
said than done. What if I try something new and fail? What if I go for a job interview
and am rejected? What if I write a blog and no-one reads it? (Yes, I am outside
my comfort zone right now, and it’s scary!) There are so many what ifs in my
head, so many opportunities for failure, and that nagging fear that I might
just discover things that I am not
good at, proving that I have already reached
my potential. These thoughts make me want to shrink back into my comfy comfort
zone. This is why lesson 2 is so important.
Lesson 2:
Exercise a growth mindset.
I then
discovered the work of Carol Dweck and her concept of growth mindset. It was
actually a teacher who introduced it to me, explaining that children with a
growth mindset believe that intelligence can be developed. These children focus
on learning, rather than looking smart, they see effort as the key to success,
and they thrive in the face of a challenge. On the flip side, children with a
fixed mindset believe that people are born good or bad at stuff and can’t do
much to change that. These children focus on looking smart rather than
learning, they see effort as a sign of low ability (if you have to try, then you
must not be good at it) and they wilt in the face of a challenge.
Unsurprisingly, children with a growth mindset do better in
school.
According
to Dweck there are three attributes to growth mindset:
- Effort (which we at ReachOut would link to staying power and self-control) – the harder we try, the more we achieve.
- Using good strategies – find out what
works, and do it again. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
- Proactive help seeking – it’s okay to ask
others for help.
I recently
moved to a new role at ReachOut, recruiting new staff, managing our database,
preparing cash flows, and several other random things which I had never done
before coming under the heading of “operations”. Most of the time I feel
confident and positive about my work, but I am definitely out of my comfort
zone and if it wasn’t for the discovery of growth mindset, I would have
crumpled under the strain of feeling out of my depth and making many mistakes.
Instead,
when faced with a new challenge rather than putting it off I make time to deal
with it (effort), if I don’t know about something I “google it” (using good
strategies) and when I hit a brick wall I consult a colleague, friend or one or
our amazing Board of Advisers (proactive help seeking). In the end I get the
job done and each time I succeed I feel more confident that I can handle being
out of my comfort zone and achieve more. Something I couldn’t say two years
ago.
My
personal experience with growth mindset has convinced me that we should be
teaching our young people that it is good when we find something hard and have
to put effort in, pointing out what methods help them to overcome challenges,
and encouraging them to ask for support when they need it. Therefore lesson
number two is: exercise and promote a growth mindset. As mentors, if we can
help our mentees with the three growth mindset attributes, we are well on the
way to helping them be the best they can be.
Fran Ellis
London
If you'd like to know more about growth mindset, check out this 45 minute course for teachers. https://www.mindsetkit.org/growth-mindset
Fran Ellis
London
If you'd like to know more about growth mindset, check out this 45 minute course for teachers. https://www.mindsetkit.org/growth-mindset
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